Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
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