Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
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