I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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