Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic