I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?