The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
New Dating App in Dallas For Only The Most Ambitious and Attractive Singles
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?