he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.