Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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