I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
