I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
