HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
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