I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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