oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
