I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
