You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
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She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
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Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
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