So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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