i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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