there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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