my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Randomize
