forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Randomize
