I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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