I never want to see another naked old woman again.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
