I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
