You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize