Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
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she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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