New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
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