if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Randomize
