You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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