And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
zippers are such a cool invention
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Let's get the cat blown out
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Randomize