Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
