We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Sorry my hands just texted you
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
