I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I'm way too hungover for life right now
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
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