i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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