just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
the room spins SO much faster in panama
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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