So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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