I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Randomize
