Porn is love you can see.
Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
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