Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Randomize
