I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
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