I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
high people should be assigned attendants
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
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