is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize