Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
