I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
