Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
You need a sexual gate keeper
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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