Sry I called you an 8
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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