i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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