god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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