I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
