Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
