NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
