i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
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