your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
