WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Randomize
