If i could tip my vagina, i would.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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