the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
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