it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
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