I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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