I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
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His new job just became new places to have sex at.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
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I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
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