I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Randomize
