i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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