Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
