Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
