I am in a vortex of obligation.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Randomize
