come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
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