Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
