Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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